This time of the year always brings wonderful memories to my mind. As I laid down with Elly today for a nap, my mind took me back to three years ago. Thought I would take you back with me...
On October 17th, 2008, we got an email from Bethany that in the title said "situation." I remember the leap my heart took as I read the title. Not wanting to get my hopes up since we were so early in the "waiting" game, but also wanting to know what the email was going to say. I read the email, quickly printed it out, and walked (fast I am sure) downstairs to read it to Tim. I can remember him being in the kitchen and I leaned over the counter and told him that I wanted to read something to him. I cannot remember too much of that conversation, but I remember that we decided we would pray about it...or Tim would pray, I had already decided I wanted our profile to be shown. That weekend we decided to have our profile shown. Tim only agreed because he NEVER thought we would be chosen. We had been told the wait would be 18 to 24 months, not 4 months. I remember thinking and praying about it ALL weekend and sharing it with just a select few people. I remember going to lunch on Sunday with the Gees and the Lewis' to Back Yard Burger. I held Claire Lewis (who would have been about 3.5 months at that time) and shared with Jennifer Gee and Kim Lewis that our profile would be shown to a potential birth mother. As a side note: It was a cool Sunday and I remember all of us wondered why we sat OUTSIDE to eat that day at Back Yard Burger.
On Monday morning, I called Carolyn, our social worker at Bethany, to make sure she got my email. She said she did and told me that they would be showing the profiles soon to the birth mother. On Wednesday (10/22/08), I email Carolyn again to let her know that I would be flying to Virginia the following week, but that she could still reach me by cell phone. I remember also sending this email because I just wanted to hear SOMETHING from her and I was hoping she would reply back. She did send me an email back telling me that they would be showing the profiles at the end of the week. I remember thinking...why would they wait that long...a baby is WAITING for her forever family! I then emailed her again asking her when she thought a decision might be made. She told me that they give them as much time as they need...some take days and some have taken up to TWO WEEKS. The timing was not in my hands. So, I proceeded to leave to go to Virginia on Saturday, October 25th thinking that it would probably be at least the following Friday before I heard something.
On Monday, October 27th, I was sitting in my brother's living room and my cell phone rang. I remember thinking, I better get that, it could be Bethany. When I picked up the phone, I realized it was a 615 area code and was pretty sure it was Bethany. Carolyn proceeded to tell me that she was calling me because we had been chosen. I still have butterflies just typing this. I kept thinking that this could not be real. I was going to be a Mommy...very soon. I looked at my parents in the other room and nodded my head at them to let them know it was Bethany and that we had been chosen. I remember seeing my Mom and Dad hug and my mother immediately began crying. Little did she know how much of her heart she was going to be giving away to that little girl. Carolyn told me that they wanted to do the placement that day and wondered if I could get back to TN that day. I checked the flights and I could not get back until around 5pm. She said that would not work so it would have to be FRIDAY. I could not believe that once again, I was going to be waiting another 4 days, but it would be worth it. I hung up the phone, hugged my parents, had a brief conversation (cannot remember any of that) and then called Tim. He answered the phone and I said "we have been chosen." I remember feeling like I was going to jump out of my skin as I talked to him. He said "chosen for what?!?" Remember, I stated before that he NEVER expected to be chosen as the birth parents so he really did not know what we had been chosen for. I clarified and he could not believe it either. We hung up and I proceeded to call Christie McCullough (my dear dear friend) and then called Kim Lewis. I remember that she was out of town with her family and she screamed on the phone.
My sister-in-law, Amber, was in the shower/bathroom getting ready during all of this because we were going to go and meet my brother for lunch (at Arby's). My nephew and I had been playing and my niece was taking her morning nap. My mother told Amber she needed to come out as soon as she could. When she came out, I shared the news with her and she was so excited. We waited to tell my brother until I could do it face to face...right there in Ollie's! I still remember feeling as if I was going to jump out of my skin all day. That is all we could talk about. I remember my parents kept looking at me and smiling. It was all surreal. That day at Ollie's I bought the first thing ever for Elly (a little teether that I still have). Finally I was able to buy something for "my" child and not for "a" child I was waiting for.
Tim and I had talked about names and had decided on Eleanor Grace. However, that was changed when Elly's birth mother asked if we would use Alexa as part of her name since that is what she had originally named Elly. So, Eleanor Alexa it was. We thought about Eleanor Grace Alexa, but that was just too long!
Since Elly was not going to be coming home until Friday, I stayed in Virginia until Thursday. Those days were really just a blur to me after Monday. I cannot even remember much that we did. I do remember that Thursday was Chloe, my niece's, first birthday and that I was going to miss her party. Although, considering the circumstances, I think my excuse was acceptable! I also remember that Amber gave me so many things to bring back for Elly of Chloe's that I had to bring a whole extra suitcase back to Tennessee with me. But I was SO excited to have those things and they were PINK!! We had such a good time going through Chloe's stuff!
I flew home on Thursday morning and Tim picked me up at the airport. We were going to wait to tell Tim's family when we actually showed up with her as a surprise, but Tim decided not to wait. Wednesday night Tim's mother had stayed the night and when she got up the next morning, she told Tim that she would probably just go on home on Friday after work and not spend the night again (she was working late shifts on Wednesday and Friday nights). Tim told her she would probably want to stay again considering the fact that we were going to be getting Elly on Friday. She was so surprised and excited!
All day Thursday I put things together, washed things, and just organized so that I would be ready for Elly. I installed the car seat and got the diaper bag ready. Tim told me that he wanted us to go to dinner at Rafferty's since it would be our last night as just the two of us. I really did NOT want to go and I let him know that in no uncertain terms, but he insisted. I still had SO many things I wanted to do before the day ended. He convinced me though. When we got to Rafferty's, there were about 15 of my friends who surprised me with a baby shower. Oh how exciting that was. I LOVED the fact that I got some new PINK things instead of all yellow and green. It was SO wonderful and they truly showered me with many gifts. How blessed I was!
Friday morning, October 31st - Halloween, we got up, had breakfast and hung around the house. I think I might have run to Target to get a few last minute things but I cannot remember that for certain (although that sounds like me for sure). We left for Nashville around 11am and stopped at the exit 11 McDonald's drive-thru for lunch. Sounds yummy, doesn't it?!? I remember eating my chicken nuggets as we were driving down 24 thinking "next time we drive this way we will be a family of 3." We got to Bethany at noon and Elly was brought in to us shortly after. Her interim care mom, Gwen, was so super sweet. She brought us all of the things that her birth mother had sent with her. By 1pm, we were headed home with our baby girl.
I called my mother and Tim's mother on the way home and then also sent Kelley Corley a picture with my phone!
Elly did not really cry on the way home, but she did when we got home. Tim had to go to work so I was left with her by myself. I felt like I had been "thrown into the fire." She was fussy, would not sleep, and I had no idea what to do. I was stressed out and I am sure she felt it. Tim got home and found me crying. He tried to help, but neither one of us really knew what we were doing. Finally, Tim's mom got off work at 8pm and came to the house. She took one look at me and told me to go to bed for a couple of hours and she would take over. That is the best thing she could have ever done. I remember waking up around 11pm and feeling like a new person...I still had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I would make it. My parents had to stay in Virginia for my niece's first birthday party on Saturday so they headed to Tennessee on Sunday. Believe it or not, that first Sunday we actually took Elly to church. We knew lots of people would want to see her and to be honest, we just needed to get out. My parents arrived that afternoon (they said it was the fastest they had ever driven to Tennessee) and I was thankful that my help had arrived. My Dad stayed for two weeks (much longer than planned) and then drove home alone. My mother stayed a third week and flew back to Virginia. I was so glad to have her for that extra week (understatement of the year). I was so sad to see her leave because I did not know how I would do it without her help...but we survived and now it is 3 years later! Hard to believe.
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